NFL Power Rankings: Week 7


   32. Cleveland Browns

             2016 record: 0-6
             Last Week Ranking: 32

Rinse, wash, repeat. The Browns being the Browns. Maybe RG III can come back as some point and make this team decent, but that is asking a lot.

   31. Chicago Bears

             2016 record: 1-5
             Last Week Ranking: 31

This team is so bad, like reaally really bad. I honestly don’t even know what to say at this point. But if I was then I would start scouting QBs.

    30. San Francisco 49ers

             2016 record: 1-5
             Last Week Ranking: 30

Talking about QBs, Colin Kaepernick made his return on the field, and it didn’t go so hot. I am actually routing for the guy because I think he is getting a bad rep for kneeling and I don’t understand why something like that bothers people so much to the point they boycott watching football.

   29. New York Jets

             2016 record: 1-5
             Last Week Ranking: 27

RIP Fitz-Magic. It was interesting while it lasted. Hey, at least you won that holdout tho, right?

   28. Indianapolis Colts

             2016 record: 2-4
             Last Week Ranking: 23

How? How did that even happen? One of the worst let downs this season. How does Chuck Pagano still have a job? I don’t get it I really don’t.

   27. Miami Dolphins

             2016 record: 2-4
             Last Week Ranking: 29

They WON!! THEY DID IT!!! THEY BEAT THE MIGHTY STEALERS!!! Wait… Wut? Oh Big Ben was hurt? Oh shit… Nvm cuncel da season.

   26. San Diego Chargers

             2016 record: 2-4
             Last Week Ranking: 28

I luv u San Diego! I luv u soooo much. If Ron Burgundy is correct and you mean “A Whale’s Vagina”, then I would make sweet passionate love to you. Thank you for beating Denver. Thank you so much xoxo

   25. New Orleans Saints

             2016 record: 2-3
             Last Week Ranking: 26

The Saints beat the Panthers! This would be super impressive if it was 2015. This Panthers team is so soft and I don’t get it.

   24. Jacksonville Jaguars

             2016 record: 2-3
             Last Week Ranking: 25

Jacksonville Jaguars, the winner of the toilet seat game of the week. I have just about given up on the Jags, I thought they were going to be so much better than this.

   23. New York Giants

             2016 record: 3-3
             Last Week Ranking: 24

Odel Beckham played like Odel Beckham again gezz. He was amazing on the field, but a idiot off of it. Once he scored the winning drive he took off his helmet to celebrate and gave the Ravens a chance to come back. Don’t even get me started about the kicking net….

   22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

             2016 record: 2-3
             Last Week Ranking: 22

Bye Week

   21. Carolina Panthers

             2016 record: 1-5
             Last Week Ranking: 20

What the hell is going on with the Panthers. Cam Newton back and they still lost to the Saints who legit decide just not to cover in the pass game. They are in last place of the horrible NFC South. Once again, what the hell is going on with the Panthers???

   20. Tennessee Titans

             2016 record: 3-3
             Last Week Ranking: 21

The Titans have won 2 in a row and are now .500! Everything is good in Tennessee! Mariota has been playing really well, lets see if he can keep these good feelings up or if it was just because he is coming off a game against the Browns.

   19. Los Angeles Rams

              2016 record: 3-3
             Last Week Ranking: 15

2 loses in a row for the Rams and it seems like the LA magic is all dried up.

   18. Cincinnati Bengals

             2016 record: 2-4
             Last Week Ranking: 14

The Bengals suck. They kinda almost looked decent in the 1st half against the Patriots, but then half time came around and the Patriots did what the Patriots do best and made adjustments and the Bengals did what the Bengals do best and did not. That was the game.

   17. Baltimore Ravens

             2016 record: 3-3
             Last Week Ranking: 12

Cool Joe strikes again! The Ravens drop their 3nd in a row and still haven’t beaten a legit team yet. So even those 3 wins don’t look to impressive.

   16. Washington Redskins

             2016 record: 4-2
             Last Week Ranking: 19

4 in a row for Cousins after the talk that his teammates have lost faith in him. I still don’t trust this team at all but hey, they keep winning.

   15. Arizona Cardinals

             2016 record: 3-3
             Last Week Ranking: 17

The Cardinals are back! Palmer is back and and so was Arizona! David Johnson continues to be one of the best Running Backs in the league. What was a great win! (Just don’t tell them they were playing the Jets…)

   14. Detroit Lions

             2016 record: 3-3
             Last Week Ranking: 16

The Lions are on a roll! They beat the then undefeated Eagles last week and now the Rams who started off the season hot. Matthew Stafford has played really good and that team needs it for them to keep up the winning.

   13. Oakland Raiders

             2016 record: 4-2
             Last Week Ranking: 9

Only if the Raiders could play the Chargers every week :/

   12. Philadelphia Eagles

             2016 record: 3-2
             Last Week Ranking: 11

Oh boy, so can the Wentz Wagon just pull over right here? I think I’ll just walk… So much for that Super Bowl, huh Philly?

  11. Buffalo Bills

             2016 record: 4-2
             Last Week Ranking: 18

I am actually really excited about the Bills doing well. It is only going to make matching into Buffalo and murdering them even sweeter. See you soon Rex!

   10. Houston Texans

             2016 record: 4-2
             Last Week Ranking: 13

This game was boring, the Texans looked like shit, Brock Osweiler looked like a bum, and some how they won. The AFC South is sooooo bad. So bad. It’s like the AFC North with 2 Miami’s instead of the Pats. PUKE!

   9. Atlanta Falcons

             2016 record: 4-2
             Last Week Ranking: 8

They got screwed. Screwed back. On that last play Julio got mugged by Sherman and they didn’t call it. I can’t even imagine how mad I would have been if I was a Atlanta fan.

   8. Pittsburgh Steelers

             2016 record: 4-2
             Last Week Ranking: 5

Down goes Big Ben and down goes the Steelers. You would have thought that after last year when they blew when Ben was hurt that they would invest in a decent back up. But NOPE! It sucks too, I was really looking forward to a good game this week against the Pats. Too bad.

   7. Kansas City Chiefs

             2016 record: 3-2
             Last Week Ranking: 10

The Chiefs just took down one of the hottest teams in the league in the Raiders. It is too bad that Alex Smith and Andy Reid are so horrible in the big moment or I might actually see them as a challenger in the AFC.

   6. Green Bay Packers

             2016 record: 3-2
             Last Week Ranking: 4

What is wrong with Rodgers? I have heard the take that he sucks because now after Deflategate, he can’t over inflate his balls anymore. I really doubt that but something is not right, and now with Lacy out things just got harder for him.

   5. Denver Broncos

             2016 record: 4-2
             Last Week Ranking: 3

2 L’s in a row oh god it is so sweet. And the fact that they lost to the Chargers makes it even sweeter. The Chargers almost blew it too! Gave Denver a little bit of hope and then took it away. So sweet.

   4. Seattle Seahawks

             2016 record: 4-1
             Last Week Ranking: 6

Like I said, Seattle got so lucky with that non call. I actually can’t believe they didnt call it. It was soooooo obvious.

   3. Dallas Cowboys

             2016 record: 5-1
             Last Week Ranking: 7

Does anyone actually believe anyone when they say “This is still Romo’s team.” Because that is the biggest bullshit I have ever heard. Dak is playing his ass off and Zeke is looking too good to be true. That line is so good. This team is legit and are 100% better off without Romo.

   2. Minnesota Vikings

             2016 record: 5-0
             Last Week Ranking: 1

Bye Week

   1. New England Patriots

             2016 record: 5-1
             Last Week Ranking: 2

Listen, I know the Pats have a loss and the Vikings don’t, but guess what this is Power Rankings and the Pats have the best team in the league and it’s not even close. Another Sunday, another win for the good guys. Tom Brady made his return to Gillette Stadium and it was a great one. He started off a little shaky, but turned it around in a big way. All he did was go for a cool 29-35 for 358. Not bad I guess. Decent numbers for a 39 year old coming back from some time off trying to shake the rust off.

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