NFL Power Rankings: Week 6


   32. Cleveland Browns

             2016 record: 0-5
             Week 1 ranking: No. 32

Rinse, wash, repeat. The Browns being the Browns. They never even had a chance. I almost feel bad that they had to face Brady in his return. What did they do to deserve this?!

   31. Chicago Bears

             2016 record: 1-4
             Week 1 ranking: No. 31

ANNNNDDD they are back. After a week of getting their first win, they had a prime opportunity to go back to back wins and they blew it against the lowly colts.

    30. San Francisco 49ers

             2016 record: 1-4
             Week 1 ranking: No. 30

Blaine Gabbert out. Colin Kaepernick in. Finally Chip Kelly does the smart thing and put his best Quarterback out there, but will it change anything?

   29. Miami Dolphins

             2016 record: 1-4
             Week 1 ranking: No. 29

Remember when people were saying that Ryan Tannehill was the 2nd best QB in the AFC East? Remember when people were saying that the Dolphins were going to challenge the Patriots for the division? Well, I am not a betting man. But if I was I would say that that might not be the safest bet.

   28. San Diego Chargers

             2016 record: 1-4
             Week 1 ranking: No. 28

Another week, another blown 4th quarter game. I am actually impressed on how they keep pulling this off. A new way to die every week. It must be so much fun to be a Chargers fan.

   27. New York Jets

             2016 record: 1-4
             Week 1 ranking: No. 21

The Jets STINK! THEY STINK! Oh I can’t wait till we play them and they strut out Geno Smith. It is going to be a massacre.

   26. New Orleans Saints

             2016 record: 1-3
             Week 1 ranking: No. 27

Bye Week


   25. Jacksonville Jaguars

             2016 record: 1-3
             Week 1 ranking: No. 22

Bye Week


   24. New York Giants

             2016 record: 2-3
             Week 1 ranking: No. 20

Oh my god! Odel Beckham scored a touchdown! He hugged the net! Awwww. Too bad they still lost and are looking like a dumpster fire.


   23. Indianapolis Colts

             2016 record: 2-3
             Week 1 ranking: No. 26

The fact that this team barely beat the Bears tells you something… The Colts continue to stink and they will keep stinking until I tell you otherwise.

   22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

             2016 record: 2-3
             Week 1 ranking: No. 25

The fact that they had to wait till the end and bank on their rookie kicker who missed field goals all day is almost embarrassing. Is it wrong to expect more out of Jameis at this point?

   21. Tennessee Titans

             2016 record: 2-3
             Week 1 ranking: No. 24

The Titans pull of the win against the horrible Dolphins! DeMarco Murray is on a tear this season. But like Jameis, I kinda expect more from Mariota this season then what I am getting from him.

   20. Carolina Panthers

             2016 record: 1-4
             Week 1 ranking: No. 14

Bruh… What the hell is going on with the Panthers. I know Cam Newton was out but still, the are 1-4. They are in last place of the horrible NFC South. Once again, what the hell is going on with the Panthers???

   19. Washington Redskins

             2016 record: 3-2
             Week 1 ranking: No. 19

By any means necessary. A little bit different from ‘You like that!’ but hey a win is a win. And the Redskins have now won 3 in a row.

  18. Buffalo Bills

             2016 record: 3-2
             Week 1 ranking: No. 18

The Bills are back!!! 3 wins in a row and the Bills are in range of the Patriots! This is their year! T-Mobile baby!!! (Until their bubble gets popped real soon and miss the playoffs again)

   17. Arizona Cardinals

             2016 record: 2-3
             Week 1 ranking: No. 17

Still convinced the Patriots kill the Cardinals. Sure they were able to win but it was against the 49ers. This team would stink if it wasn’t for David Johnson putting the team on his back.

   16. Detroit Lions

             2016 record: 2-3
             Week 1 ranking: No. 23

And just when you think they are dead, they do something like this and totally redeem themselves!!! They beat the undefeated Eagles! (AKA maybe we should pump the break on the Eagles IMO)



   15. Los Angeles Rams

              2016 record: 3-2
              Week 1 ranking: No. 16

The LA Rams are on a winning streak annnnnnnddddd…. it’s gone. The Hollywood magic is gone. And for a team that is supposed to have the best D-line in football, how the hell did you let the Bills run all over you?

   14. Cincinnati Bengals

             2016 record: 2-3
             Week 1 ranking: No. 11

Well, I guess that makes up for the Bengals actually playing well in a primetime game last week. They got abused by Zeke all day and could not stop him as hard as they tried. Not ideal to let 2 rookies tear you up.

   13. Houston Texans

             2016 record: 3-2
             Week 1 ranking: No. 9

That Vikings Defense is pretty good huh? If you are the Texans, ow nervous are you for paying Brock all that money? Cause I don’t know about you, but I would be pretty nervous.

   12. Baltimore Ravens

             2016 record: 3-2
             Week 1 ranking: No. 7

Cool Joe strikes again! The Ravens drop their 2nd in a row and still haven’t beaten a legit team yet. So even those 3 wins don’t look to impressive.

   11. Philadelphia Eagles

             2016 record: 3-1
             Week 1 ranking: No. 8

Welp. There goes the undefeated season with the red headed Jesus, huh Philly. Maybe you guys should take a step back with all of those high expectations. Because guess what, you just lost to the Lions….

   10. Kansas City Chiefs

             2016 record: 2-2
             Week 1 ranking: No. 15

Bye Week


   9. Oakland Raiders

             2016 record: 4-1
             Week 1 ranking: No. 13

The hot Raiders keep it going even though they had literally nothing to do with that win. Lets face it, the Raiders didn’t win that game, the Chargers just lost it. But hey, a win is a win. 4-1 lets gooo!!!


   8. Atlanta Falcons

             2016 record: 4-1
             Week 1 ranking: No. 12

FINALLY!!! SOMEONE TOOK DOWN THE BRONCOS!!!! Matty Ice you BC motherfucker I love you! I really thought this was going to be the week. I really did. The week where the wheels fall of the wagon and the Falcons are exposed as the shitty team that they always are. But hey, I’ll hand it to them. That was a huge win.


   7. Dallas Cowboys

             2016 record: 4-1
             Week 1 ranking: No. 10

Does anyone actually believe anyone when they say “This is still Romo’s team.” Because that is the biggest bullshit I have ever heard. Dak is playing his ass off and Zeke is looking too good to be true. That line is so good. This team is legit and are 100% better off without Romo.





   6. Seattle Seahawks

             2016 record: 3-1
             Week 1 ranking: No. 6

Bye Week

   5. Pittsburgh Steelers

             2016 record: 4-1
             Week 1 ranking: No. 5

Another week, another team carving up the Jets. This is almost embarrassing. Ptt was able to do anything they wanted against the Jets and that Offense looks dangerous.

   4. Green Bay Packers

             2016 record: 3-1
             Week 1 ranking: No. 4

Rodgers and the boys just tore up the Giants defense all game, and if it wasn’t for Janoris Jenkins interceptions in this game, it would have been a blowout.

   3. Denver Broncos

             2016 record: 4-1
             Week 1 ranking: No. 1

There is a god. Sure, Trevor Siemian did not play, but he is a bum and will be exposed as a bum sooner rather than later. Mark my words.

   2. New England Patriots

             2016 record: 4-1
             Week 1 ranking: No. 3

What a night and day difference. Out goes Jacoby Brissett (who was injured) and in comes the greatest Quarterback to ever play the game, Thomas Edward Patrick Brady. And just like that we, are the best team in football all over again.

   1. Minnesota Vikings

             2016 record: 5-0
             Week 1 ranking: No. 2

This team can’t stop, won’t stop. Sam Bradford is actually playing good! What kind of magic voodoo is this shit? That defense is LEGIT. How long can they keep this up? They are the only undefeated team left with is nutty.


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